Shakespeare, you're wrong

Picture a lovely Saturday morning. You wake up, slowly move around, and finally flush your toilet. Then you hear the tinkle... downstairs, near your washing machine (in your living room=gross). This sound might make you panic, but it happened less than a month ago. You know, that the pipes outside are backed up (or frozen) and that any water you use will join you in the living room. There go your plans of showering, laundry, and doing your dishes.

If you are anything like me, you might have felt frustrated. While it is nice to have a valid excuse to put off being productive and turn to a day in your pjs, it doesn't help you prep for the upcoming week. However, there is a flip side, It's almost like being rich. Rich people have on-demand waterfalls in their entry way, right?

I know it is ridiculous, but thinking of my nasty toilet geyser as a waterfall helped me to enjoy the day. I wasn't someone not using water to stop a mess, but something with the option to turn on a waterfall, but choosing not to. Changing names matters. We don't name kids, Annoying, Over-rated, or Animal, because it affects our psyche. Ideas get in our subconscious. Instead, we can choose to use this power for good.
For instance changing asparagus to  "Volcanic Asparagus" makes it more appetizing. Who doesn't want to increase the vegetable consumption of the world?

As I pondered names, I realized how often I rename things to make them more exciting. In high school, every Friday was "National Elizabeth Day." My friends submitted theme songs and the winning song was sung every Friday for almost 4 years! While Friday is a cool day, "National Elizabeth Day" is even better. The real difference, the NAME. Besides singing and the occasional cookie, it was just a Friday.

To conclude: William Shakespeare's character was wrong. If roses were called trash, they might smell ok, but it would taint our perception. However, if you call trash a treasure hunt, going through your neighbors stuff might be fun. With this in mind, I am going to pay more attention to what I "name" things.

Life in the Postcard

I live in a beautiful place. There are majestic trees, stars that shine bright and clear, and I even have a swimming hole in the summer. As I was taking out the trash tonight, it dawned on me that I live in a postcard!

I love postcards!! It is away to capture a place you or a friend have been, or dreaming of visiting. I have postcards from trips that I have been on that capture a moment. I can almost feel the hot humid air (which is nice in subzero weather) when I look at a postcard from Savannah.

However, postcards never capture the whole story. Imagine that I started selling postcards of my house. While they would sell well and make me millions, few people would imagine that the very violent (yet deserved) execution of the two spiders that tried to sneak in my shower the other morning. Nobody could comprehend the awesomeness of my "clean the kitchen" dance.

On the other hand, I think that is what makes postcards magical. They hold imagination. As I was thinking about "postcard" moments, I thought about a very awkward moment on a wintry day.

STORY EXAMPLE

 When I was college, I worked at a cafeteria, ~ 2 miles away from where I lived. For 3 out of 4 years, I didn't have a car, and this was a great chance to "stretch" my legs. While I typically worked the breakfast shift, I worked a lunch/dinner shift every 3rd Sunday.

One particular Sunday, my friend, who was working the same shift, invited me to her ward, since they held their Sunday morning early. After church, we would drive to the cafeteria.

I could tell that this was going to be a good day, so I got ready with a "skip" in my step. I got dressed in a cute skirt/top combo and some adorable shoes that used to belong to my grandma. My backpack was loaded with my work clothes and a blanket to nap with during the break in between lunch and dinner. Luckily, my backpack was big and could hold a lot off stuff, even if it stuck out a foot.

Prepared to face the day, I bundled up and started for campus (where her church was held). For anyone that has never been to BYU, campus is on top of a hill. I took a short cut through the duck pond. As I started to reach the first incline, I noticed that it was a little icy. However, there was a handrail that I could "pull" myself up with.*

This worked well, until the "shortcut" ended, and I reached the sidewalk. As I took my first step, I noticed that the incline was steeper. I also noticed that my grandma's shoes had NO TRACTION. Finally, I noticed that I had not moved up the hill, although my feel were moving, as if I was walking.

Unsure of what to do, I kept moving my feet, as if I was gaining ground. This only resulted in my falling to my knees, scrambling to get up-while wearing a skirt-and being very aware of how large my backpack was. Finally, I made it back to my feet, only to go no where and fall back down. At this point, I did not know what to do. Should I sit and slide to the bottom of this hill? Stay until the ice melts? Keep doing the same thing and hope that something changes?

While pondering my predicament on all fours, I noticed a group of ~ 5 guys, in suits and ties, watching me. It was kind of awkward, but all I could do was pull myself back onto 2 legs. There I continued to "walk in place." Finally, one young man came to me and asked if I needed a hand. It was obvious that YES, I needed "a hand." The very chivalrous young man grabbed my hand and we walked up the hill. I tried to make small talk, to make him feel more comfortable, but that did not seem to work. For a moment, I wondered if he thought something was wrong with me. Then, I remembered that the only thing he knew about me was...I could not walk up a hill.  As soon as we made it to the top, he dropped my hand and left with superman speed. I wonder if he was on the track team...

Luckily, I made it to church and to work. Unfortunately, it is difficult to capture the full awkwardness of the situation. I wish I had a postcard of it. While it would not capture the whole story, I can guarantee it would make me smile :)


*Note, if you ever notice that you are having difficulty making it uphill due to ice, TURN AROUND. Handrails do not last forever. Take the stairs!

Operation Ward Project

Life goal: Met. 

For years, I have made it a goal to become a "ward/church project." Someone who people at church that people have on their radar (free food, free friends, great life). Before you judge this goal, I will solidly state that I know it is a bad goal.. As a Christian, my goal is to act like Christ would if here were. This means looking for ways to serve others, and not thinking about ways to get myself served. Can you imagine Mother Teresa sitting around, plotting how to get someone to bring her dinner?

Regardless, I have ALWAYS joked about being a project. I was probably 12 or 14 when I first came up with the idea. I was probably sitting in a meeting, discussing activities that _____  would like, when I thought/-I want people to plan activities for me. (I know this is selfish.) As I got older, it got worse. There is a distinct possibility that I started a "Liz for ward project" campaign in college. Somewhere in the joking the desire started to become real. 

In life, I have been really blessed. I have a great family with longevity in my jeans. I was able to go to college, have friends, and mostly succeed in life. My "mountains to climb" are probably little ant hills to many people. While this is great, it does make becoming the ward project difficult. 

Answer: Move somewhere where you are the odd one out.  End result, I decided to move near Sun Valley, Idaho-far away from all family and friends. I knew that I would be "the single girl." This had to equal ward project! I would be guaranteed the best home and visiting teachers. People would invite me over for dinner, plan activities for me. etc. Logical? 

In reality, my main objective in moving to the Wood River Valley was not to become a project. However, I told myself that it would be an exciting plus. In fact, when I talked to my friends at BYU before moving, the "project" benefit was mentioned repeatedly. See the following example:

Liz: Well, I got the job in Ketchum, Idaho. I guess I am moving there.

Friend: Congrats, How do you feel about it?

Liz: I am a little nervous, but I feel good about it. Plus, the nearest singles ward is about one hour away. I guess going to a family ward will help me finally become the project. I will be the only young single adult.

Notice, the lack of talk about the actual job (which turned out to be great)

Truthfully, people took me under their wings and I was a "mini project." For a while, I was at my stake president's house more than he was. I did have a great home teacher. But, I wasn't "the project." Like I said, I have been really blessed in life, and many other people have BIG problems. And, I can actually be pretty independent (shocker!). End result: People were nice, but I wasn't on THE LIST. On a side note, I do have some awesome stories I should blog about in the future-involving demon deacons.

However, after all the years spent on this goal, I was not willing to completely give up. I had some high points that gave me hope for my goal. (Eg. When the Twin Falls singles ward talked about me in ward council, the Bishop of the Sun Valley ward inviting me to dinner every Sunday for a couple of months straight-I was in a Hailey ward- having people tell me that they would pray for me to meet a nice boy). Eventually, I gave up on being at the top of the project list and decided to drive the hour to be part of a singles branch again.

And then it happened. I did not suddenly move to the top of the list, but a real "ward project" moment occurred  Today, the young men and women came caroling to my house and they brought a HUGE gift basket. There were even some of my demon deacons there. It warmed my soul. And then it hit me, this was a project moment. I have been in on enough meetings to know that they go to people's houses who need extra...love.

What a glorious moment!!!! 

The Games I Play

Have you ever had something that you really did not want to do? I have. For the past month, I have been "studying" for the GRE. I take the test in 3 weeks, and my practice tests are not looking good. Studying is actually starting to depress me. 

As a result, even though I reserve days for studying, other very important things tend to creep up. For example, I had to plan my own carnival today. Actually, the words  "had to plan" should be replaced with, "got distracted by planning." You will not believe how easy it is to entertain yourself with floss, a safety pin, tiny post-it notes, magnets and a retainer case. Let me explain how fun these items can be.

Step 1: Tie a long string of floss to the safety pin. This will make it easy to retrieve the safety pin for all further steps. 

Game 1: Plinko Board: Did you know that in my 2 story house there is a vent that connects the upstairs and the down stairs? It happens to be just above my garbage can. So the idea is to see if you can get the safety pin to land in the garbage despite hitting the different grates. Truthfully, this is the game that I need the most practice in. Luckily, you can just pull the floss and it comes back up.

Game 2: Go Fish: Place magnets over your floor. Throw the safety pin and try to "reel in" a good one.

Game 3: Very Poor Man's Skee-Ball/Basketball: Retainer cases have different sections (well a top and bottom). Throw the safety pin in the case. To make it more difficult, back up.

Game 4: Darts: Use the little post it notes to create rings on your wall. Throw the safety-pin, aiming for the tiniest section. If you really want to check your accuracy, cover the safety pin in some kind of washable dye. Then you can see where the safety pin hit the first time. 

I guess the conclusion is, that if I don't do well on the GRE, I probably have a future in...entertaining myself with little money? I could write a book on this subject, but truthfully people that's budget only includes my supplies probably can't afford my book. Maybe, I can call the book "Partying for One" and I will include highlights of my Halloween. (Spoiler Alert: It involved a costume party, dance, and movie).  

When relaxation meets assassin in Number 12 Grimmauld place

When I was in college, I participated in some "extra-curriculars" that I thought had no practical application. In real "grown-up" I am surprised at how often I use these...skills..? Today, these two of the strangest talents combined at a unique place.

Skill 1: Relaxation/Mediation

When I was at BYU, I went to the biofeedback lab, once. For those of you who don't know what this is, it is a lab where they have you listen to a relaxing tape while hooked up to all sorts of wires/monitors to see how you relax. Note, this is different from when I got paid to have my brain studied by the psychology dept.

Since I learned so much in my 20 minute session, I wanted to share what I learned with EVERYONE. So, like the rational person I am, I would frequently offer "mediation" sessions to friends in my apartment complex when tests/relationships/life got stressful. My sessions were intense, as my friends closed their eyes, breathed deep, and listened as I talked about sticks floating down rivers and hot air balloons rising high. I didn't even flinch when a women's group at church invited me to teach these relaxation techniques. Of course, 20 minutes in the biofeedback lab equipped me to help stressed out students!

As a "grown-up," I teach weight loss classes that take a mind, body, spirit approach. In each class, we have a 5-15 minute stress management section. I teach about half of these. I have used google to add to tool belt,but balloons and and sticks have floated their way into more than one class.

Skill 2: Assassin

During my last year at BYU, I participated in a massive game of assassin. In assassin, you are given the name of one individual that you are assigned to "kill" by stabbing lightly with a fork. However, there is one person who has been assigned to "kill" you. If you "kill" your target, you are now trying to "kill" the target of the person you assassinated. If you do not kill the person you are assigned to kill within one week, you are out of the game and your target is given to somebody else. The game continues until there is only one person left. Confused?

Turns out, I may have taken this game a little too seriously. I may or may not have sat in the bushes for over an hour hoping that my target would walk by. I also may have drastically altered my schedule of when I went on and left campus. I continually watched my backed and did not trust my friends playing the game until they "died." I even kept my fork strapped to my wrist, just in case I ran across my target randomly.

The end was result was that I was one of the last 3 participants. This really meant that I spent almost 2 months  suspicious of everyone and may have developed some trust issues. Even walking around campus was stressful Eventually, my roommate got my name, and let my soul "rest." We even held a funeral.

Believe it or not, I have actually used many of the skills gained in this game at work and home. For example, when the neighbor kids played "spy school" and had complicated obstacles, well yarn placed all over,  I had no problems moving around. Also, I have caught two "kidnappers" in drills at work, because I have learned to be suspicious of everybody.

The Meeting at Number 12

Today, we had an emergency drill at work. We practiced, what would happen if someone came into the ER with a weapon. This drill was planned months in advance and the police, fire dept, etc. were all involved. Of course, this drill started just before my weight loss class started, on the day we were doing yoga. What are the odds?

Since we were still holding class, our room was declared, "not in play." However, everyone would still need to walk through the hospital to get to my class. As I was putting away chairs/tables, I realized that I felt like Sirius Black in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Part of me wanted to be involved in the drill and I was very curious as to what was happening outside. However, it was necessary that I stay in the "safe house" ie. Number 12 Grimmuld Place and prepare it for my class, just like Sirius spent his days cleaning Number 12. Don't worry, everyone made it in safely, and we all relaxed despite the assassin like experience.

After the Cruise-the Recap

As some as may know, I went on a cruise about a month ago. If you read my last post, you will know that I made a few, "plans." Of course, life does not always go as planned, but sometimes it is even better.

To recap, my plans were:

1. Avoid crazy strangers and make friends with mimes.

The Reality: 

The cruise ship did not have mimes! However, we did meet many great people (and dancers, who didn't talk during the show-so they might count). Also, there was a great staff that took wonderful care of us. In fact, it was difficult adjusting to real life after because I had to put my dishes away, cook, make my bed, and a number of other chores were normal before our excursion. 

Some of my favorite people that we met are shown below. We were all assigned to table 386, and were  the loudest/craziest table in the dinning room. I am pretty positive that we ordered more food than other table, maybe in the history of cruising. Once we realized that you can order multiple appetizers, entrees, and desserts per person, the kitchen did not have a staff. We did try to tone down our ordering by sharing our orders.

Table 386

Below are some of the foods I tried:

Escargot

Lobster

Gator

Duck

Sushi

Cured Salmon

Non-fried Calamary

Strawberry Bisque

Baked Alaska

Sou flee 

Hot Lava Cake

2. Hang out on deck by cute boys that look like they can swim, but are strong enough to stop me from going over.

The Reality:

No one in our party fell over board. However, we did spend a lot of time on the deck. It was one of my favorite parts of the cruise. In fact, I saw a WHALE!!!!! This was a goal of mine, that I had no control over. So, on the last "day at see," I prayed to see one. 

Truthfully, after I realized how tall the boat was, I had no desire to fall over. This was brought into greater perspective when I went para-sailing. Believe it or not, para-sailing is one of the most peaceful experience I have had, except when you feel the jarring...

This is what it looked like!

3. Plan for a disaster; learn to be the first off the boat.

The Reality:

Before you leave port, everyone is required to participate in a practice evacuation. Obviously, this is really low key to most of us sailors. You don't even have to get in the life boat. I was probably the only person on the boat excited about it, and that is because I had made a goal. Unfortunately, I did not succeed in the "typical" sense. I got there a little early, which somehow meant that I was one of the last to line up for the boat. Basically, if it was real, I would be one of the last on. Probably, squeezing myself in between strangers. 

Since I don't like the word failure, I am judging this in other terms. I was one of the first people off the boat at every stop. The word that describes this is...SUCCESS!

4. Make friends with a rich elderly couple.

The Reality:

I do not hang out where rich people hang out. They all spend extra money to go to the spa, buy art, etc. I spent my time going to awesome/free activities such as:

Towel Folding Class

Disco Dance Class

Scavenger hunts with my table (for which I got a trophy!)

Minute to Win it shows

Trivia

Miniature Golf

Etc. 

Overall, the cruise was great! I highly recommend it as the BEST VACATION EVER!!!

The Excitement of a Cruise

I near future, I will be going on my first "grown-up" vacation. I am going on a cruise!!!!!! Since I don't have a lot of experience with exciting vacations (growing up, our vacation spot was Idaho), booking the cruise was a little intimidating, and a lot exciting. For months, I have been planning and dreaming of this trip. In fact, I've had so much fun with the anticipation, I don't know if the cruise can top the months of planning. Therefore, I wanted to document my final stages of planning. These are based off of the little bits the media/literature has taught me about cruises, ships and the ocean.

1. The Adventures of Mary-Kate and Ashley, Thea Case of the Mystery Cruise was my first run-in with cruising. I don't remember many of the details, but I do know that they were treated to a surprise cruise, but found "bad guys" on boards. I have a vague recollection of a mime being involved (as a good guy) as well.

THE PLAN: Avoid crazy strangers and make friends with mimes.

2. Titanic. In this classic I learned 2 essentials of survival on the trip.

Number 1: Love can happen in an instance. Especially in near death settings. The girl needs to almost fall off (either by her own choice or accident) and the boy is willing to save her.

THE PLAN: Hang out on deck by cute boys that look like they can swim, but are strong enough to stop me from going over.

Number 2:  When booking this cruise, my friend and I picked the "poor people" cabins. We are the interior, interior. That means that we are two rooms away from the window. From the history of the titanic, I know that in a panic (especially if there aren't enough life boats) the rich people have the best chance of survival, which means that the poorer people (the people in the interior, interior) need to learn to push and shove to survive.

THE PLAN:  I am pondering, having "rush through people" drill at the LAX airport, as practice-just in case. I think that learning the skill of pushing my way, will help me out in multiple avenues of life. Maybe, I'll be brave enough for Black Friday this year....

Lastly, I hear a story about a girl who was so amusing, some rich old couple fell in love with her, and flew her to places, such as NY, NY to visit them.

THE PLAN: 1. Find a rich elderly couple from Hawaii, New York, or Europe, 2. Be adorable, 3. Make friends. 4. Save up vacation days to visit my new BFFs.